tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
