I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
