You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
