Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize