Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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