And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh god the rape fog is back!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
