Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
