i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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