Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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