smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's just like the Real World with babies
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
