i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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