I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
