There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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