This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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