Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
