Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
do nipples grow back?
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