I hope mine doesn't look like that
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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