yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
