I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize