is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
