6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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