He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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