If i come over, it means nothing
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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