I'm gonna have a badass scar
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
