Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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