Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
