I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Someone shattered a urinal.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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