I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
