I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
