And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
