Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize