my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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