YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she looked like the before picture.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
