carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
