One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize