its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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