I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
