They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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