I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
