if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
