Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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