Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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