Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
