We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
