My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
