Christians are straight up FREAKS
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
