my sisters under your porch take her home
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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