I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
