u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
