At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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