every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
