My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
