TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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