I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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