Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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