i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize