Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
