no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
