Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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