I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're a waste of cheezeits
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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