Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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