what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
