I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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