my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
