he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
