Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
there is glitter all over my balls
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