Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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