Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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